Who Is Your First Love?

Every August we travel to Panama City Beach, Florida, with my mother-in-law. We love to stroll through the Boardwalk, an open-air mall filled with restaurants, niche shops, a theater, and an enormous ferris wheel. Last year in one of the many stores catering to the tourist population, I saw a sweatshirt hanging by the door. In big, bold letters it said, “First love yourself.” It struck me that this is the very message our culture is screaming at us. The world asks us, “How can you love anybody else, if you don’t love yourself?” They admonish, “Take care of #1.” But this is absolutely contrary to what the Bible clearly teaches. Jesus said that the greatest  commandment God gave us is this: “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22:37-39 NASB)

All of the choices we make in life come down to who we love most. If my first love is myself, then I will find myself in self-preservation mode, and the reward I will most intently seek will be having others notice me, feel sorry for me, and focus on me. On the other hand, if my first love is God, then I will be looking for opportunities to make Him known, to magnify Him (help other people see Him better) and to bring Him attention, glory, honor and praise.

What Our Culture Says

Maybe you feel torn here because you might think that if you don’t love yourself, nobody else will. That is a lie our culture is perpetrating on us. Nowhere does the Bible teach that. In fact, the Bible teaches us that God loved us when we were completely unlovable. We were His enemies steeped in sin when Christ died for us according to Romans 5:6-10. God loves us, and He wants us to reciprocate that love by loving Him more than anyone or anything else. As we receive God’s love, responding in belief, we learn to love those He created in His image.

We do have an epidemic of self-loathing in our society. I believe it is a direct result of buying into the many lies of our culture. However, some children truly grow up never knowing what unconditional love looks like, so the message to “First Love Yourself” is appealing. I believe that a better approach, though, is the one my therapist used with me. I was a young mother struggling to work through the fact that I had been abused as a small child, and it was hindering my relationship with my own daughter. I did have some self-loathing, but he never once told me to love myself. Instead, he had me write these words on a card that I placed on my mirror and recited at least 5 times a day until they finally sunk in: “I am created in the image of God and am worthy of love and respect.” The focus was on the fact that I am God’s handiwork. That’s a healthy view of self that can be truly life-changing!

Make the Lord Your First Love

It’s worth stopping for a moment to consider which sweatshirt best fits you. Is it the one from the beach, or is it one that says, “First love God.” You may need to do some deep soul-searching as your consider this question. One way to determine your answer is to look at your priorities. How do you begin your day? Does the Lord get the first place in your morning? Would you rather scroll through Facebook or read God's Word? How does the time you spend watching TV compare to the time you spend in communion with your Savior?

If we truly love the Lord with all our heart, soul and mind, everything else will take a back seat to the time we spend with Him. The more we spend time in His presence in personal worship, in prayer, in Bible study, and in reading edifying material to build our faith, the more time we will long to spend with Him. We will realize that this world really isn't our home, and we will echo the words of John in Revelation, 22:20, "Even so, come, Lord Jesus." What have you found to be most helpful in strengthening your love for the Lord? Please share your tips in the comments.