Mothering the New Mama: Encouragement for the Grandmother of a Breastfed Baby

Heather McGuire nurses her baby as her mom looks on. Photo by Worth+Gold photography.

Congratulations! Your daughter or daughter-in-law has chosen to give your new grandbaby the very best start in life! Maybe she is following the example that you set when you breastfed. Or perhaps you didn’t breastfeed and are wondering why she has made this decision. By taking the time to read this article, you will gain two very important things: first, you will gain an understanding of why she has decided to nurse and how breastfeeding works, and secondly, you will learn how you can support and encourage her as she nurtures your precious grandchild.

Why breastfeed?

Although breastfeeding confers myriad benefits on both mom and baby, here I will focus on four specific reasons why your grandbaby’s mom has decided to nurse him.

Breastmilk is the ideal infant food.

One of the primary reasons that many mothers decide to breastfeed is because breastmilk is the perfect food for babies. It changes as a baby grows to meet his changing needs. Your grandbaby will also receive all sorts of nutrients and immunities that no formula could provide. At birth all babies have some immunological protection from their mothers, but only the breastfed baby receives ongoing protection from disease and infection via the immunoglobulins in his mother’s milk. Over 100 nutrients, amino acids and other important factors have been identified in mother’s milk. Researchers have even found substances in breast milk that aid in the development of brain cells. No formula of human design even comes close to providing all of the benefits of breastmilk!

Breastfeeding is convenient and inexpensive.

For a young couple on a tight budget, formula-feeding may be prohibitive. Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to save a lot of money. Furthermore, because breastfed babies are healthier, their parents also have fewer medical bills. An added benefit is that your grandbaby’s mother won’t have to  concern herself with mixing formula, sterilizing bottles and making sure she heats the baby’s formula to just the right temperature.

Breastfeeding provides wonderful bonding opportunities

Breastfed babies bond closely with their mothers, trusting them to meet their needs. This security they experience lays the foundation for later independence. It also provides a basis for their later understanding of the trust they can have in their Heavenly Father. Certainly formula-fed babies can bond with their mothers, too; nevertheless a unique and precious intimacy exists between the breastfed baby and his mother.

Breastfeeding is God’s perfect design for infant feeding

God equipped mothers with the means to provide adequate nourishment for their infants for at least the first six months of life. In his perfect plan for creation, He fashioned the breastfeeding relationship to meet the needs of both mother and infant. Your daughter or daughter-in-law will have less risk of pre-menopausal breast cancer and osteoporosis because she has breastfed your grandbaby. Your grandchild is richly blessed to have a mother who wants to nurse him according to God’s plan!

How It Works

• The first and most important thing you can do is learn all you can about breastfeeding. The following facts will help you understand the breastfeeding process.

• Breastmilk is produced on a supply and demand basis. Therefore, the more a baby nurses, the more milk his mother will produce.

• To produce adequate milk, the mother needs to get sufficient rest.

• Breastmilk is easy to digest, so breastfed babies need to nurse every two or three hours during the day. Typically, an infant should nurse eight to twelve times in a 24 hour period.

• A breastfed baby should not have a bottle or a pacifier for the first few weeks of his life. Sucking on an artificial nipple may confuse him and lead him to temporarily reject his mother’s breast.

• Babies go through several growth spurts during which they nurse much more frequently than normal. It is not uncommon during a growth spurt for a baby to nurse every hour and a half. The baby is helping his mother increase her milk supply to meet his growing needs. Typical growth spurt times include ten days, six weeks, 3 months, and six months. Growth spurts may last four to six days.

• Breastfed babies do not need any other type of nourishment for at least the first six months of their lives. Some babies may show an interest in solid foods at around 5 months of age. If a baby can sit up and is able to eat without thrusting the food out with his tongue, he may be ready for solids.

Your Role

Now you know why your daughter or daughter-in-law has chosen to breastfeed. You also have a basic understanding of how the breastfeeding relationship works. There are several very important things you can do to help ensure that your grandbaby gets the very best possible start in life.

Be a Barnabas

When many in the early church were reluctant to trust the newly converted Paul, Barnabas (whose name means “Son of Encouragement’) stepped in as his number one cheerleader. He stood up for Paul and encouraged him to do what God had called him to do. Your job is to be like Barnabas for your daughter or daughter-in law.

One of the most important things that you can do for your grandbaby is to avoid negative and unsupportive comments to his mother about the way she is feeding him. If you did not breastfeed, or your nursing experience wasn’t very positive, you may tend to think it won’t work for her either. If she is surrounded by discouragement, breastfeeding will be difficult. The let-down reflex is dependent, to a great extent, upon the mother’s emotional condition. Worry, fear and stress may very well interfere with her breastfeeding successfully.

Don’t expect your breastfed grandchild to have the same kind of structured feeding schedule that a bottle-fed baby may have. Encourage his mother to go ahead and feed him if he seems hungry. One of the most helpful things you can do is to praise your grandchild’s mother. Be sure to let her know you think she is doing a good job. Take every opportunity to cheer her on.

Mothering the new mama

During the first few weeks after she gives birth, your daughter or daughter-in-law has one very important job: taking care of her baby. If this is her first baby, she may feel very unsure of herself in this new role. It might be tempting for her to let you do everything, especially if you are a take-charge sort of person. But please don’t let her do that. Try to avoid caring for the new baby yourself; instead encourage the new mother and reassure her of her own abilities.  One of the greatest gifts you can give her is a sense of confidence in her own maternal role.

Do look for ways that you can pamper the new mother. You might cook for her or do the laundry. Perhaps you can help by going shopping for her. If she has other children, this can be a very special time for you to focus on them, as well. She may ask you to help in specific ways; do so graciously and willingly. The most important thing here is that you find ways to help her get the rest her body needs to recover from childbirth and to make the milk your grandbaby needs.

Try to be especially sensitive to your daughter or daughter-in-law’s feelings regarding the establishment of her new family. This may be one of the most important aspects of mothering the new mama! If you live out of town, find out when would be the best time for you to come. She might want you there as soon as the baby is born. On the other hand, she might prefer that you wait for a week or two and then come. If both sets of grandparents live out of town, it would be very wise to coordinate your visits so that the new family has help for the longest time possible. Perhaps the mother’s parents can come right when the baby is born and stay for a week or two. Then the father’s parents can visit when the baby is a couple of weeks old.

Pray for your grandbaby and his mother

This is the most priceless gift you can give them. If she can be certain that you are daily asking God to give her wisdom and encouragement, your daughter or daughter-in-law will be blessed indeed. Even now (after 40 years of marriage) my mother-in-law still tells me often that she is praying for us and our children. I am so richly blessed to have a mother-in-law who brings us before the throne of grace each day. Her mother set that example for her, and she is continuing in that intercessory role. Ultimately, you long for your grandbaby to come into a lifelong relationship with Christ. As you love and pray for your grandbaby and his parents, you will be a very special grandmother indeed!

Leave a comment to share how you have encouraged the breastfeeding moms in your life!